Wednesday, November 02, 2011 Minor Guardianships: Letters of Instruction In Case of the Unimaginable
Writing Instructions to Potential Guardians
If you have minor children, or children with disabilities, the thought of leaving them suddenly is unimaginable. Parents know their children- their schedules, their health, their likes and dislikes- but keep most of that knowledge in their heads. When my kids were growing up, I knew when they needed to be at soccer practice and church, who their doctor was and how to reach her, and how to tell when they were sick. Other than abbreviations on my calendar and names in my database, there was no formal written schedule of activities or list of important contacts.
Most parents can’t imagine how someone would be able to step in and take care of their children. It is difficult to comprehend that someone else would have to figure out your children’s complicated schedule, let alone how to raise your child with the values you want them to have.
One of the ways you can help someone who might have to take over for you is to create a letter of instruction for a potential guardian. What should go in that letter? Here are some suggestions:
1. Healthcare Information
The letter should include a detailed guide to your child’s healthcare, including vaccination records, contact information for their physicians and dentists, information about any allergies or prescriptions. Note which pharmacy you have used in the past, and any over-the-counter medications your child uses on a regular basis.
2. Your child’s Preferred Activities and the Important People who help with those activities
Although your children’s schedules will change monthly and yearly, the letter could include information about the activities your child enjoys, contact information for coaches, scout leaders and church youth leaders. You might include a sample of the weekly, monthly or yearly schedule you and your family currently follow. If your child goes to a summer camp, include information about deadlines for registering for camp.
3. How to find Important Papers
The letter should include instructions on where to find the child’s birth certificate and passport, and should include the child’s social security number and a copy of the social security card.
4. Religious Philosophy
If you practice a religion, include instructions on your religious philosophy along with contact information for the church you attend. Let the potential guardian know if you would like your child to continue to be involved in the religion you practice, or whether you would like your child to accompany the guardian to their religious activities.
5. Educational Philosophy
Discuss your thoughts and hopes for your child’s education. Do you want your child to go to public or private school? What are your plans for secondary education for your child?
6. Family Tree and Other Important People
List all of the important people in your child’s life – and include contact information for those people. If you nominate a person who is not a family member, will they know who your family is and how to reach them? Let the guardian know if it is important for your child to be able to spend time with grandparents, aunts and uncles, or other important people.
7. Things that Comfort
What does your child like to do when he or she is upset, unhappy or frightened? Do they have a special toy or piece of clothing? Do you read a certain book to them or play music? Do they have any pets that they rely on for comfort?
8. Food Likes and Dislikes
Maybe the guardian won’t want to fix macaroni and cheese every night, but they may wonder why your child won’t eat what they fix for dinner. Let them know any food preferences – as well as quirky food habits. Be sure to mention any food allergies your child has and any reactions they’ve had to foods in the past.
Of course, this list is just a suggestion for some basic points you might want to cover. Remember that the information in the letter will need to be updated on a regular basis as your child grows and changes. If the letter is never needed, you will have a great written record of your child’s life that you can give them when they are adults and don’t remember that they refused to eat anything but hot dogs and used to love to cuddle with Winnie the Pooh when they were sad!
Monday, October 24, 2011 Naming Guardians for Minor Children
Phew! I’ve reached that point in life where I can relax – not much, but a little- because both of my children are adults and, for the most part, out of the nest. Until just a couple of years ago, I broke out in a sweat every time I had to go out of town on business by myself. Not only did I worry about whether my kids would get fed, get their homework done and make it to soccer practice on time, but I also worried about what would happen to them if I had an accident and didn’t make it home.
If you have minor children, children under the age of 18, I’m sure you worry about that, too. If you are not around, who will feed them, help them with their homework and get them to soccer practice?
Choosing someone to care for your children is difficult. No one will care for and love your children the way you do, and, as far as I know, we can’t clone you. However, if you don’t choose someone to raise your children if you’re not there, the probate court will have to make that choice and the court may not choose someone that you would like to raise your children.
The only way to nominate a guardian in Georgia is in a will. However, many people put off doing their estate plan because this choice is so difficult. Here are a few tips for choosing guardians for your children.
First, make a list of everyone you would trust to take care of your children. When making this list, don’t restrict yourself to the obvious choices. Remember that if you choose no one, your children could end up in foster care. If you had the choice of this person or foster care, would you choose this person? If so, put them on the list.
Most people limit their list to family members – parents and siblings- but think about your extended family. Maybe your aunts, cousins, nieces or nephews would be good choices. Try to think about whether their philosophy about raising children is similar to yours.
Second, would any of these people truly love your children? Would they raise the children with the religious, social, and moral values that you would like?
Third, look at the personality. Are they affectionate? Good role models?
Fourth, be practical. Would raising children hamper their lifestyle? If a couple divorced, or one died, would you choose either one of them?
Fifth, look for someone who’s good, not necessarily perfect. Remember, as we discussed above, you cannot be cloned.
Sixth, talk to everyone you are thinking of naming. Make sure they are willing to serve, and explain what will be required of them. Let them know that they should tell you now if they do not want to be nominated as a guardian of your children.
Finally, above all, make sure that you are the one that makes the choice – not the court.
In the next blog post, we’ll talk about writing letters of instruction for guardians.
Sunday, August 28, 2011 Protecting People with Special Needs: Guardianship of Young Adults
Most parents are conflicted when their children reach their 18th birthday. For many families, that means their child will soon be leaving home for college, a new job, or the military. For parents of children with developmental disabilities, it can be very scary when that child turns 18, because the law presumes an 18-year-old is an adult with the legal rights and responsibilities that come with adulthood. When a child turns18, the parent no longer has the legal authority to make decisions for that child.
Joshua, a good-looking young man with a developmental disability, turned 18 six months ago. Josh is friendly and outgoing. They say he never met a stranger. Josh, who functions intellectually on the level of a second grader, has been known to give his lunch money away on more than one occasion. Josh does not tell his parents when he is feeling sick, and once cut his arm and used the wall to stop the bleeding. His parents came to me because they are conflicted about whether to seek guardianship of Josh.
Guardianship is a legal relationship created by a court. The guardian has the legal authority to make decisions about the healthcare and living arrangements of another person, called a ward. The guardian also has the duty to look out for the welfare of the ward. The relationship is very much like that of parent and child, where the law presumes that the ward is not able to make his or her own decisions about his or her healthcare or living arrangements.
Whether to seek a guardianship can be a difficult decision because parents want their children to gain independence, to learn to function in the world on their own and to make their own decisions. When someone becomes a ward, they lose the legal ability to make healthcare decisions, to choose where to live, to enter into contracts, and to marry.
Guardianship in Georgia is granted if the adult “lacks significant capacity to make or communicate significant responsible decisions” about his or her health or safety. In order to decide whether to grant a guardianship, the court reviews a petition filed by the proposed guardian, appoints a professional to evaluate the proposed ward, and then holds a hearing in the courthouse to gather evidence about the decision-making ability of the proposed ward.
Josh’s parents ultimately decided that they need to become Josh’s guardians in order to continue to make decisions about his healthcare and where he lives, but also to ensure that he would not be enticed into signing any contracts that might bind him to spending money he doesn’t have. Although they would like for Josh to get married some day, I explained that they can petition the court if and when Josh meets the right person and they believe he is mature enough to marry.
Please give our office a call if you have questions about whether you might need to seek guardianship of a young adult.
Next week, we’ll talk about when guardianship of minors, when that might be necessary and how to choose guardians for your minor children.
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