Writing Instructions to Potential Guardians
If you have minor children, or children with disabilities, the thought of leaving them suddenly is unimaginable. Parents know their children- their schedules, their health, their likes and dislikes- but keep most of that knowledge in their heads. When my kids were growing up, I knew when they needed to be at soccer practice and church, who their doctor was and how to reach her, and how to tell when they were sick. Other than abbreviations on my calendar and names in my database, there was no formal written schedule of activities or list of important contacts.
Most parents can’t imagine how someone would be able to step in and take care of their children. It is difficult to comprehend that someone else would have to figure out your children’s complicated schedule, let alone how to raise your child with the values you want them to have.
One of the ways you can help someone who might have to take over for you is to create a letter of instruction for a potential guardian. What should go in that letter? Here are some suggestions:
1. Healthcare Information
The letter should include a detailed guide to your child’s healthcare, including vaccination records, contact information for their physicians and dentists, information about any allergies or prescriptions. Note which pharmacy you have used in the past, and any over-the-counter medications your child uses on a regular basis.
2. Your child’s Preferred Activities and the Important People who help with those activities
Although your children’s schedules will change monthly and yearly, the letter could include information about the activities your child enjoys, contact information for coaches, scout leaders and church youth leaders. You might include a sample of the weekly, monthly or yearly schedule you and your family currently follow. If your child goes to a summer camp, include information about deadlines for registering for camp.
3. How to find Important Papers
The letter should include instructions on where to find the child’s birth certificate and passport, and should include the child’s social security number and a copy of the social security card.
4. Religious Philosophy
If you practice a religion, include instructions on your religious philosophy along with contact information for the church you attend. Let the potential guardian know if you would like your child to continue to be involved in the religion you practice, or whether you would like your child to accompany the guardian to their religious activities.
5. Educational Philosophy
Discuss your thoughts and hopes for your child’s education. Do you want your child to go to public or private school? What are your plans for secondary education for your child?
6. Family Tree and Other Important People
List all of the important people in your child’s life – and include contact information for those people. If you nominate a person who is not a family member, will they know who your family is and how to reach them? Let the guardian know if it is important for your child to be able to spend time with grandparents, aunts and uncles, or other important people.
7. Things that Comfort
What does your child like to do when he or she is upset, unhappy or frightened? Do they have a special toy or piece of clothing? Do you read a certain book to them or play music? Do they have any pets that they rely on for comfort?
8. Food Likes and Dislikes
Maybe the guardian won’t want to fix macaroni and cheese every night, but they may wonder why your child won’t eat what they fix for dinner. Let them know any food preferences – as well as quirky food habits. Be sure to mention any food allergies your child has and any reactions they’ve had to foods in the past.
Of course, this list is just a suggestion for some basic points you might want to cover. Remember that the information in the letter will need to be updated on a regular basis as your child grows and changes. If the letter is never needed, you will have a great written record of your child’s life that you can give them when they are adults and don’t remember that they refused to eat anything but hot dogs and used to love to cuddle with Winnie the Pooh when they were sad!